“If you run really fast, the leeches can’t get you!”

So as we got closer to Coorg, it became clear that I was entering some sort of tropical oasis. There was lush foliage everywhere, on the trees grows the pepper plants, stretching the length of the trunk. There are vines hanging from the ceiling of the forest, and everything is so tall and green. The only way I can explain it is that I felt like I was walking through Jurassic Park, sans dinosaurs. But I wouldn’t have been surprised if a dinosaur appeared- there were so many trees and dense green foliage, why not?

We drove along thin, windy roads, paved and unpaved to get to the site we were coming to see. I was told that many times to get to sites, we have to get our of our 4×4 and enter a larger vehicle with bigger wheels to get to the site, due to the mud. Like most tropical paradises, it rains a lot here.  We drove through many areas that I thought for certain the car would get stuck in the mud, but somehow we got through. The roads are also very steep, and I felt like we’d roll right back down again.

The home is another version of the wood house that I’ve seen from Ravee at the Nellore site. The home is gorgeous, and nestled in the forest of this mountainous tropical paradise. It is so beautiful. We looked around at some of the other sites, since they are turning this area into a resort with smaller units for renting. We were crawling through the forest, and everyone was very careful to warn me to beware of the slippery soil. I appreciated it but felt like walking on slippery areas is something I am pretty good at considering my experience with ice and snow. I really wish I could see what these people would do in snow.

We spent some more time in the area, and went to explore a waterfall nearby. When we got out of the car I was reminded why Ravee made sure I wore sneakers instead of flip flops here. Not only was the ground mucky and easy to get stuck in, there were some not-so-friendly creatures making home on the ground.

I know nobody at home will believe that I went to this site being warned that leeches would probably end up all over me, but I braved it! Though I don’t know if brave is the word.

When we stood on the ground, these small, inch worm like creatures were crawling around. These were the leeches. They were so small it was hard to see if they had gotten on you, but soon everyone was subsequently covered. I was so glad to be wearing pants and sneakers. When we got back into the car Manpreet kept finding them on her, it was a bit of a nightmare-esque scene as we all hurried to get paper for her to get them off her.

I did not get away unscathed completely, I did find one on me that had bit, but I got it off before much damage was done. What an experience that was!

I’m having lots of experiences here.

Whiteness.

I want to be as culturally sensitive as possible, but I have a lot of questions. Like how there are carbon emissions stickers on the cars, but there are dark black fumes coming from many of the trucks. Or how the caste system is supposed to be gone, but I can see it in how people interact with one another. I’ve become interested in trying to figure out how it is that these contradictions exist, but also trying to tip-toe around these subjects that could offend.

That being said, I need to talk about how I am perceived here because the novelty of being a said, “rock star” has worn off. When I was at the construction site I felt so uncomfortable walking around with eyes on me. I feel like I have to put on a facade here. I put on my sunglasses, my tough face and walk like I mean business. I play GI Jane in my head sometimes, making sure that there isn’t an inch of vulnerability in me that someone could mistake for weakness.

But my goodness, I feel so out of place. I don’t think I could be more different if I tried. The women here try so hard to lighten their skin, and here I am, Irish American and all, as white as they come for their eyes pleasure. I don’t know what everyone’s thinking when they look at me. Do they love me or hate me for my white skin? Do I scream privilege? Do I offend them for trying to wear their clothes? Are they hypersexualizing me because I am different?

Sometimes I don’t want to know whats going on in their heads, other times I wish someone would clue me into whether or not I’m doing something wrong by being here. Kartik assures me that it’s like when you see a beautiful car, you can’t help but look at it. I asked him if it’s that I’m beautiful or if it’s that I’m white, we decided it’s both- but I have to wonder how much of my beauty is derived from my skin color.

Then again, what is beauty anyways? How can someone think me beautiful without  knowing me? This is one of the challenges I think, that I feel as though there are labels and considerations that people have about me before I even open my mouth. Many of them, I probably prove to be correct. I don’t know, it’s complicated- but I’m learning, being an outsider, well, it’s not fun and games, even if you’re a desired outsider.