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I watched Sex and the City the other day and it left me very confused. I was sad for two reasons: 1. I missed home and 2. I was disgusted with home. The movie reminded me of all the relationships I have back home with friends and family and my boyfriend- which made me very sad. And then, before I could even cry about that, I was disgusted by this image of America shown on HBO here in India.
The movie, while it is about four women who are good friends (don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the characters of Sex and the City) is also riddled with American extravagance. It’s a lot of talk about the latest fashions, shopping sprees and buying expensive name brands. One of the big scenes involve the gifting of a Louis Vitton bag as “one of the best things I’ve ever done”
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Please don’t post angry comments about how much you love the movie. I know it’s a good movie about relationships and love and I maybe I am over-interpreting it. It just upsets me to see how much lavish the American lifestyle can be in relation to one here in India. And while I know my life is not “Sex and the City” style, and that most Americans don’t live that way either, it was frustrating to think this is what India sees of our culture. It is similar to how we see Slumdog Millionare and assume India is all poverty and slums.
Sex and the City 2 is playing in movie theaters here in India- but we’re more alike than we realize.
When I got off the plane last night, Kimur, a man who sat next to me for the duration of my flight from Frankfurt to Bangalore, carried my suitcase. He had also given me a bag of pistachios and a banana. Told me I might need them later. We had talked over the screams of the babies in the recycled air of the aircraft about my family and his family, exchanged stories of travel and friendly jokes about how terrible the flight was. Kimur was a great help for those first few minutes in India. He followed me through customs and made sure that I got my bags before saying goodbye. Kimur told me he would have trouble letting his daughters travel alone, so he wanted to be sure that I was safe, since we had formed a friendship on the plane. Kimur was my first taste of Indian hospitality.
It’s true, these people are as caring and thoughtful as they come. Like last night when I came into the house and nearly everyone was still awake for my 3am arrival. And how the men who stand watch over the house during the night seemed nervous to leave me alone with Steve. Or how the girls from the school that I met today wanted me to come to their home for tea.
Their hospitality is very comforting, considering how scared and anxious I felt last night. We drove for over an hour to get to the school and Steve made me sit in the front of the truck, probably to make me see the sights and the sounds better– but also made me see the beeping and the flashing of lights at cars in front of us as we drove 80mph+ through the streets. Raja, the driver, is a great driver, but I am as cautious as they come on the roads and I hate being in the passengers seat for this reason. Also, it was thundering and lightning out, which is something I am truly not fond of.. but in reality, my fears of what was going to happen next quelled any anxiety about the weather situation.
While we drove it was dark, so I could not see much of the sights, but I did notice that while the streets were well paved with nicely groomed plants in between them, there was trash and debris all along the roadside. This contradicted the beautiful, modern airport. Steve commented how he thinks a lot more about the United States in India than he does India itself, because India and the US have many of the same issues, we just choose to hide them better. He commented on how there is poverty in the US much like in India, it is just much more visible here.
Steve is a professor at Keene State College and has been a great help this first day. He has been to the school for three summers now and seems to know his way around. He does not usually supervise the college students here, but he is very welcoming and helpful. It’s nice to have someone to speak English with here. For the most part, the staff here know at least some English. Raja, our driver, is fluent and was also fun to talk to. The couple who cooks for us also are good speakers.
I write all this very cooly because I’ll admit, I’ve been trying this first day or so distance myself a bit from the situation. This is because I’m very nervous and scared about a lot of things here, and its easier to put on my sociologist cap and analyze things. I hope that soon I will be able to let go a bit more, but for now, there’s just so much that is really, truly foreign. I’d read that India is the biggest challenge for American travelers because it is so different, now I am beginning to understand.
I cried all last night before bed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone. I cursed myself for getting into this mess, questioning if I was cut out for this as bugs crawled up the sides of my mosquito net. Steve offered to have me come over at any point in the night if I was scared or had questions, but he was in a different building and I didn’t want to go outside. Essentially, I’m in this huge building all alone, with men outside banging sticks against the ground to keep people away. If there were more people here I think I’d feel a bit more at ease, but I guess this is all just part of the experience. Thank goodness I could at least send text messages to tell everyone at home I was safe, last night when we got back Steve asked how I was and I told him I was surprised I had not cried yet… when we hooked up the computer and had just got internet all set, the power went out. He told me that would probably be a good time to cry.
Today I tried to be more adventurous. Part of me really wanted to stay in bed all day, and I knew that would be acceptable considering my crazy flight and time schedule (PS. I still have no idea what time it is here exactly..) but the only way to stop being afraid is explore.
I had a brunch meal with Steve, and learned quickly some of the customs when it comes to eating. I had read that you pass food with your left and eat with your right because you use your left hand to wipe after going to the bathroom, but in reality, its because you do not want anything to touch your mouth when you pass it. Because you eat with your right hand, you can know that your left has not been in your mouth, and therefore is clean. We wash our hands both before and after dinner, so they are always clean. Eating with my hands is weird, and I haven’t really even started yet.. I had papaya fresh from the tree today as well as some pancake like bread.
A note on cleanliness from the germa-fobe herself. Last night I nearly had a heart attack. You take your shoes off at the door, and I was so happy I had chose to wear socks because there are ants crawling everywhere. Steve assures me that I’ll learn to go barefoot, but I’m antsy (no pun intended..) about that idea. I write this ironically, while barefoot.. it’s just so hot here any way to cut down on the heat is a gift. There is a pile of dead ants in the corner of my room, Mom won’t believe that I pushed them into a pile myself. I have pictures, when I get them up you’ll see! Also, in the hygiene department, I am lucky to have a western style toilet right now, so not working my thighs with those squats just yet. Showers are bucket style, it’s an interesting system of a big bucket and a little.. I’m actually kind of excited about it, probably because I just feel so sticky right now.
Back to today- after brunch I got dressed and went for a walk around the yard. Gamesh, who cooks for us along with his wife, has a beautiful garden. There are sunflowers and morning glory and all sorts of beautiful flowers that I can’t name. There are fuzzy plants and there strange groundlings that when you touch them, close up quickly. Everything is so interesting! There are banana trees with beautiful purple pods that I am dying to paint. I climbed to the top of the house where you can see the date trees and the cashew tree pods. Did you know that cashews come from trees? It’s an interesting thing, there’s this bright red pod and then a cashew in a large green encasing. No wonder cashews are pretty expensive, what a process to get these things!
From atop the house I can see the city in the distance, and also a mountain that Steve says we’ll climb barefoot. Oy! I can also see the school, but I will leave that for my next post!
Tonight I watched my favorite movie, The Constant Gardener. If you’re not familiar with the movie, I really do suggest watching it, it was just inappropriate timing for me. The movie chronicles a man who’s wife dies trying to bring down a pharmaceutical company trying to test drugs in Africa. It is a beautiful story of love and loss, of betrayal and hope, but most importantly, of bringing justice to those without a voice.
The movie inspires me every time I watch it, it usually makes me cry and makes me feel a longing to do something. Never really certain of what that something is, but well, how can you watch people risk their lives to change things and not feel stirred.
Okay, so it’s Hollywood- and it’s not based on a true story and the characters are fictionalized and the story is too.. but well, we all know that these things happen, and we all can agree that often times the rich take advantage of the poor. It’s ‘human nature’ to want the best for ourselves, and often times we do this at the sake of others’ safety, health and success.
I guess the movie reminded me of how idealistic I really am. How much I really, truly, want to be one of those people who’s brave enough to put it all on the line to bring justice, to bring peace, to bring hope to others. I think there’s always been this desire in me, to find something to do that with.
And here it is, in three days I will head to India. No, I am not going to uncover a political scheme or corporate disaster, at least I hope not. And no, I am not going to be interviewing victims of a pharmaceutical testing plot or anything of that magnitude. That stuff was fiction.
What I’ll be doing will be real. And it won’t involve risking my life for information or writing secret notes to diplomats. My trip will involve working with real people, to see real disparity and recognize real injustice in this world. While this does not involve large amounts of risk, it does involve potentially finding the thing that I want to involve my life in. I think that can be risky enough.
Because sometimes, we’d rather be ignorant. Let’s be real, there’s a lot of junk out in the world. There’s a whole lot of corruption and misuse and pain. Hard facts are just that- hard to swallow, hard to accept, hard to acknowledge. When we’re faced with poverty we can’t deny its existence anymore. When we experience corruption, we can’t pretend it isn’t present.
But to do something really meaningful, we musnt be afraid of reality. We must strip our pretenses and expectations and be willing to enter a place without fear of exploration. We must not be afraid of uncovering these truths.
I guess thats what really shook me within this film. Previously, when I watched it, I was too busy enjoying the story line, the beautiful images and the fast paced action to stop and appreciate the bravery of the characters. I had not thought about the human connection that they were able to create, and how that connection is often bogged down by our own pretenses. Maybe this is just my own ignorant fear from not being exposed to situations such as African corruption or India’s educational issues, but I am really scared I will have difficulty connecting with the people. The only way to find the heart of the people is to be brave enough to listen. The only way to understand the pain is to experience it. The only way to know is to be willing to do so.
I have never been the brave one. I cringe at shots and I can’t stand bugs. I over-wash my hands and I’m really not that strong.
India is going to challenge me. India is going to take me and break me and make me experience things anew. I am afraid I do not have the strength to live in their world, but even more pressing, the strength to listen with an unbiased heart. I fear I will have trouble understanding, trouble putting my own pretenses away and finding the heart of the people I work with.
I really want to understand, I really want to know, I really want to be capable of reaching another at that personal level, I’m just so concerned right now about the life that I lead and how different it is from the people I want to reach.
I can only hope that my own humility will be able to be enough. I hope that I can continue to be appreciative and understanding.
Please keep logging hours for one lap top per child on the left, I appreciate it so much.
Okay, today we’re having a multimedia overload on my blog. I am just so moved by this Ted talk I need to share it.
This study of student’s learning in India by Mitra is fascinating. Mitra argues that not only does technology need to be brought to more rural areas, but that if this is done- students will teach themselves. By bringing one computer to a remote village where students do not even speak English, students were able to learn 200 english words and begin using them in their everyday conversation. Furthermore, there was no instruction needed for these kids to learn how to use the computer- and once they learned, they taught their friends.
(if you don’t have 20 mins, start 8 mins in)
I like how Mitra concludes that not only do we need to bring technology to these students, but educators need to look at technology and adapt it to their needs. Computers and technology were created not necessarily for classrooms, and now classrooms need to figure out exactly what it is that they can use technology for. How can technology not only assist our classrooms, but potentially be the classroom for students where classrooms aren’t available?
It’s all the news: 88 teachers fired. Students are failing so the teachers need to go. Obama has praised the superintendent for this choice. Where is the accountability for administration? When does the upper-level leadership become responsible for their employees? I find it fascinating how accountability is completely lost here in America. Leadership is lost.
See: http://cchronicle.com/2010/02/rhode-island-teachers-take-the-blame/comment-page-1/
Seeking the Soul in 8 Weeks 